Mother’s Day and Home as Community

Posted by Michelle Biden on

May 

Mother’s Day is on Sunday. I am looking forward to spending some time in the garden, and getting the special treatment from my kids and partner, which they have already alluded to. It feels good to be loved, taken care of and appreciated.

As I sit here thinking about the great parts of being a mom, I am also thinking of the many conversations I’ve had with other moms about the unequal division of labour in the household. Whether or not both parents are working, there seems to be this lingering view that the home is the woman’s domain, and also her responsibility, as is the labour of attending to the emotional needs of family members. 

But what if we consciously change our perspective and consider our home as our community, rather than a hierarchy run by one parent. Instead of doing chores for mom, chores are done to contribute to the community of the household. It fosters a sense of belonging as each person’s contributions are given (not demanded) and valued. The shared responsibility encourages family members to take ownership and pride over their contributions. And it builds respect and gratitude for the contributions being made by other family members.

Switching from a hierarchy to a community model also means that all members need to contribute their ideas and opinions and they should be listened to, considered and incorporated. This could be done through a family meeting or something more loose. While this process may seem like more work at the beginning, the back and forth builds connection and belonging and means we can find the best jobs for people based on their strengths and interests. 

A community home model also asks of us to be more flexible and adaptable as roles and contributions may change based on changing circumstances or individual strengths and preferences.

I don’t think there is an end goal to this process. I also don’t think you have to have kids to use it. If you are living with others, you are living in a community. It’s an evolving conversation, and it sure seems like a better option for everyone’s wellbeing. 

 

Kind regards, Michelle

 

And if you are looking for other ways to show some love to mom, consider this in house designed card and some fun floral vulva soaps! (Or penis soaps if your mom is phallically endowed).